Alle Beiträge von stefankai

Gezeugt. Geboren. Aufgewachsen. Ausgewachsen.

Hashtagged be thy name

#AGeneration grown to feed tomorrow’s algorithms we stop being content with the now and lose ourselves in virtualities of those we follow. Deceiving ourselves that clicks and likes and mentions can ultimately save our digital souls like ghosts in machines we find it boring to be bored and lazy to be idle. If #silenceisgolden social is noise.

We float through endless streams of smiling faces desperately struggling to impress an oblivious audience that is too busy breaking reality into shards and fragments of personal truths and unsolicited opinions. We are happy and new and shiny modern and inclusive and believe not the bot that has no name and his name is #.

We are proactively productive the belt workers of our age we work over-time and free-time and spare-time for minimum wages molding and forming and sharing content after content to feed the beast and 666 likes are 30 content pieces of silver are 1 of #10thingsthatyouwillnotbelieve. And for a positive rating we will spend all our bonus miles to catch a falling star.

We earn our living by selling ourselves. Yet we are more and more is always good. More options than we can chose from more #fakenews than we can factcheck more friends than we can hope to dislike and more freedom to speak of in dark nets cute cats and spiders crawling worldwidewebs. Our url a gurgle on google belching and our search for our inner self delivers no results. But others who also had an interest in themselves lost it all in the filter bubble of the stock market.

It is becoming a small small world so small that we might be caught in it. #Beijng our own jailors we validate each others‘ time stamps and monitor our blues and twin checkmarks.

And may we not picture your avatar. Do not leak our data as we do not leak the data of our followers. Hashtagged be thy name. Your name be clear and your status active for ever and ever. Emen.


Krummdarm, Brummdarm, Trummdarm, Summdarm, Dummdarm, Klummdarm, Vrummdarm

Blinddarm, Winddarm, Finddarm, Schinddarm, Rinddarm, Kinddarm, Binddarm

Dickdarm, Klickdarm, Zickdarm, Stickdarm, Flickdarm, Blickdarm, Schlickdarm

Mastdarm, Fastdarm, Hastdarm, Bastdarm, Tastdarm, Rastdarm, Lastdarm



Ringe unter den Tauben

Wird das jetzt richtiger, nur weil es schon 126mal wie ein Mantra wiederholt wurde:

Bei den olympischen Spielen geht es um den Sport nicht um Politik.

Wieso treten dann hier Nationen gegeneinander an und nicht Sportler? Und zeigt der Medaillenspiegel nicht das Zerrbild einer verkehrten Welt. Die Spiele als Kriegsersatz? Eher eine Friedensprothese. Es gibt keinen olympischen Frieden. Die Nationen bekommen ihre Konflikte nur nicht durch den Zoll. Das Wettrüsten in Pillenform. Leibesvisitation und Körperkontrolle. Und die UNO als Dauerwadakrampf.
Wo sind die Tauben? Die hören.
Sobald die Kamera läuft. Propaganda. Potjomkolympische Dörfer. Da sind unsere Athleten stationiert. Schlafen in Feldbetten auf den enteigneten Ländereien der Ur-Ur-Einwohner.
Konzerne und Investoren verdienen sich Gold. An der Nase. Herum führen Sie die Menschen, deren Eigentum Sie versilbern. Land, Arbeitskraft, Zukunft. Diebe! Brüllen das Lachen. Wenn das Feuer werkt und dröhnt. Stehlen sich davon in der Dunkelheit. Wenn die Flamme und das Scheinwerferlicht erlischen. Die hohen Ideale lassen die Leute unten zurück. Der Blick hinauf im Zorn.
Wenn der schwere Vorhang fällt. Eisern. Aufgepasst. Das ist jetzt wichtig. Zensur. Nur die schönen Bilder. Dabei sein ist alles. Man macht sein Geschäft. Auf den Stufen. Denn Sport ist Mord. Und bronzen ist nur der Teint. Reden ist Silber. Schweigen ist Gold.

Spring ’14 trends in foreign policy

10 learnings from contemporary Russian foreign policy

1. Syrian opposition has handed out U.S. passports and sent a letter to  United States‘ president Obama pleading for intervention to stop the imaginary threat for the lives of U.S. citizens in Homs. In an official statement Barrack Obama has been reported saying that „this is no longer an internal affair of Syria, as the lives of American citizens are in danger.“

2. President-in-Exile Wiktor Yanukovych has formally appealed to the Russian Duma to add the two Ukranian medals won in Sochi 2014 to Russia’s tally, as they are otherwise threatened by Western aggressors, terrorists and fascists. The revised humanitarian medal table reads:

1st RUSSIA 14 Gold, 11 Silver, 10 Bronze

27th UKRAINE 0 Gold, 0 Silver, 0 Bronze

3. Thomas Bach, IOC president, has changed the name of the Olympic Truce programme to Olympic Farce programme. The Olympic Farce Wall will be established in time for the Paralympics on March 7.

4. Impressed by the Russian coup, Spain’s parliament has voted in favor of creating a „Mediterranean Fleet“ and signed a deal with local Gibraltar pro-Spanish loyalists to deploy it in Gibraltar until 2043.

5. China continues to buy deeply into the stock market as the so-called old powers re-enact their classic Cold War play.

6. The United States reforms its army into two new divisions: (1) unmarked uniforms (illegal combatant edition) for direct and covet humanitarian interventions and (2) regular US uniforms for official symbolic missions for the UN and parades on 4th of July. The new regular uniforms will be designed by Ralph Lauren.

7. Germany has declared former chancellor Gerhard Schroeder Germany’s first freelance „Minister for Electricity and Gazprom“, securing a long-term payment scheme with the state-owned Russian energy company.
As part of the inauguration ceremony, the German army opera corps performed Verdi’s opera „Nabucco“, conducted by Daniel Barenboim.

8. The European Commission has announced to launch a twitter channel @ECconcern to regularly issue tweets of „deep concern“ on state interventions or foreign state’s internal affairs. The hashtag used will be #noeconomicinterest or #ashtonia.

9. „Provocateurs“ become an official department of state or secret police forces all over the world. Democratic demonstrations can thus be „guided“ more effectively. The new Departments of Provocation usually are part of the Press and Media Office and payment of the agents is on success basis on social media impact, number of fatalities and press clippings.

10. Supporting splinter groups and furthering a divided opposition to drive states into breaking up is again widely regarded as an apt way to expand your sphere of interest to neighboring countries. This sentiment is sometimes ironically coined „to open Matroshka’s box“. However, all states agree on Putin’s plea in the New York Times article from 09/11/2013 that „decisions affecting war and peace should happen only by consensus.“
It is reported that after Barrack Obama, Vladimir Ilyitsch Putin could soon be the second statesman in recent history to receive the Nobel Peace Prize.

kai on… Berlin

Berlin, Berlin. My love.

kai on… Belgium

It’s feckin‘ Bruges…  and ghastly Gent. No, actually it is a tour d’honneur. One of the best short trips I ever made. The March of ideas: Something is trying to tell me someone. I could go on quoting Neil Gaiman but I I leave it at that. Thank you, CK for inspiration and company. Nearly like old times, eh?

kai on… Stockholm

A company outing to Stockholm in Mid-September can result in some hard work – but also in some – very tourist, I admit – views of the Swedish Riviera. Like Die Ärzte said: Jag älskar Sverige!

kai on… Ruhrgebiet

Komm zur Ruhr.

The wild wild West of Germany. Riddled with the remains of the industrial age.  Change in the last decades is Green. And RUHR surprises me every time that I visit it. Sadly enough, that not too many pictures made it into this album. But I will work on it. It is not RUHR’s fault…

kai on… Düsseldorf

Since having moved to Düsseldorf in 2011, I started growing a liking to this town. Gradually. In those places where I had to take a second guess. On occasions, when I was taken by surprise. In Düsseldorf, I don’t find places, they find me. I know that sounds sordid, but what the heck, I am cheap.